Confessions of a bad blogger

Finding the time to blog is hard. Many times I have thoughts that I would love to share or updates on the family, but I simply struggle to find time. I often remind myself of the Creator of 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I walk in step with the One who has created and ordered all time I can accomplish every task purposed for me. I am not about to say that I do this well, but sometimes, in order to breathe, I need to remind myself that what He requires from me in a given day can be done. If I find that I am overwhelmed and just can't get everything done then usually it is due to the fact that I have taken on more than He has asked of me, or walking in my own strength.

"Splendor and majesty are before Him;

Strength and joy in His dwelling place."

1 Chronicles 16:27

My goal is to "catch up" on our blog. To try to catch up in one post would, in fact, be overwhelming and boring...so I will strive to bring snippets of what our Mighty God has been up to in our lives. My purpose is to testify of God's work in our family with hope that He will be seen above all and hearts find encouragement to love Him more.

Stay tuned for the next post of the greatest work of our Mighty God in the last 4 months!!!!!

Libi's Birthday pacakage arrives at her China home!

We received a wonderful gift this week. I mentioned in my last post that Libi celebrated her 4th birthday. Instead of gifts for Libi, her friends brought gifts to send to New Day. New Day was Libi's foster home in China. They do amazing things for the orphan. They have saved many lives, including Libi's. God used New Day to supply for Libi's need for her heart surgery. We will forever be thankful for New Day!! Take a journey to their blog and pray for them. http://newdayfosterhome.blogspot.com/ You will be so blessed!!

I know, I know...it's been awhile

So why so long since the last post? Well, the short answer to that question would be 5 kids. Is life crazy busy? Yes, it is, but it is good and abundantly blessed! Each day I cannot quite take in the changes that are happening in the Arnold house. I see broken hearts mending, love growing, strength granted, healing given, joy discovered, peace found...God is at work and I cannot help but be overwhelmed at what I see.

Jacob just continues to grow into such a mature young man. Sometimes I look at him in awe. I only wish I could have had half the wisdom and discernment at his age. It was the gift of Him that God used in my life to "grow me up". Soon he will be driving and I will be crying. I just want him out on the sidewalk in his big wheel...can you picture that? He will be taking his first overseas mission trip in July. He will be traveling to the Dominican Republic. That is sure to be a mile marker in his relationship with His Savior!

Big changes have taken place in Joel and Jack since we made the decision to bring them home for their education. I feel so blessed to be able to sit down with my 13 and 12 year old boys and read with them. I feel like I really "know" them. I am waiting with great anticipation for our next year to begin in a week. Yes, I did say in a week. We will be jumping in and hitting the books again. (Shhh, not a word to the boys, it's a surprise! LOL!) Lately, Scrabble has become there passion. They do come up with some interesting words! Those boys really make me laugh!

Miss Haddie...No one on this earth is as happy as this girl. Really, she is just plain happy. We made her a little emotion chart so she could better identify her feelings. Not one time has she ever pointed to any face but the "very happy" face. How I love her! Sometimes she is a little too much sanguine for me to handle or it may be the choleric that drives me more crazy. I can't figure out if it is the zest for life, or her passion for telling me how to do everything. :) Seriously, she brings great joy and laughter to my days.

I would like to speak to the bonding/attaching process. I continue to go back to 1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." I am so thankful that God has proven to be greater than my heart over these last 6 months. Never in my life have I thought more about what love really is. God defines it in His Word as PATIENT, KIND, not JEALOUS, BOASTFUL, PROUD, or RUDE, it does not demand its own way, is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged, it does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1Corinthians 13) Do you see anything in there about "feelings" or "emotions"? It isn't there, because that's not what love is. Love is a choice. Love is work. Love is God pouring Himself through us to someone else. Real love is not something we can give apart from God. I pray that this love is what my little Haddie Hope know as reality in her life.

Haddie continues to battle with displaced attachment and indiscriminate friendliness. She craves love, affection, and attention. Her needs are so understandable, but how those needs get met requires intentional direction. It's funny how when she is in a crowd of people she is like a kid in a candy store. She is just looking to win someones affection or attention. She could get some random hugs and "I love yous" and fill up her needs without looking to her daddy and I to meet them. When she fills up elsewhere it is evident in her limp hugs, non puckered lips, and just plain distance. It is harder for her to vulnerable with myself or with Brad. It requires her to love and trust on a deeper level. She has come so far, but we still have a way to go. I can tell you that the spontaneous "I love yous" and random hugs and kisses are coming more often, and each one is a treasure.

Ari...yep, Ari. Been a while since that name has been on the blog. Ari was our foster daughter who lived with us for 18 months. The last time we heard from Ari was June 21st, 2008!! Two long years ago. She just celebrated her 5th birthday...somewhere. Geoffry the Giraffe called to sing happy birthday to her, but she wasn't here. A birthday card arrived in the mail for her, but she wasn't here. We had a Dora cake, but she wasn't here. Do I wish she was here? Oh YES, how I wish she was here! I wish she could know her sisters, and that they could know her. I wish that our arms would stop aching for her. I dream about her often, and she is always elementary school age with long straight black hair. I hold fast to my belief that she will one day be back. She will always be our daughter and we pray that she and her mama had a wonderful day celebrating her 5th year. Ariadna Joy, we love you! God thank you for her, for the memories and the hope that one day we will see her again.

Libi love has been seizure free for almost 3 weeks! We are rejoicing over that, and hope that the Lord brings her healing. She celebrated her 4th birthday since my last post. She had a music/dance party with her little friends. She had 17 little girl friends at the house, and only one of them was a biological child! It was the most beautiful room of girls you have ever seen. Each little life, so precious, so purposed. Then, there sat Libi amongst them. What a miracle! As she sat up, smiling, clapping...doing things that many never thought possible. God is healer! We continue to wait on Him to bring about her ability to walk...it is on the horizon.

We will be putting our house on the market in a few days. We have found a home that was custom built handicap accessible. It would be so wonderful for Libi to have the ability to experience her world more "upright". I cannot begin to imagine the amount of hours she spends on her back or tummy in our house. Also, she is growing, and it is getting more difficult for me to care for her, getting her up and down stairs, in and out of the tub...So we wait to see what God has, trusting fully that He determines the exact places that you will live.

I will not make any promises about when the next post will come....hope it will be sooner than this.

Early morning game of Scrabble

Happy Birthday Ari!

I love my sister!

Happy Birthday Jack!!!

My "messy" girls having some breakfast

Happy Birthday Libi!

Haddie wanted a Bible of her own so bad. I told her a couple of weeks before Easter that she would get one for her first Easter. The night before Easter I was trying to explain why we celebrate Easter and what Jesus did for us. She looked me with great excitement and said, "Mama, Bible?" It was so sweet! She was so excited to get her Bible. She loves to hear stories from God's Word. I cannot wait until she can read it all for herself!

She is Fearfully and Wonderfully made

Today was another trip for us back to see Libi's Geneticist. It was a very educational visit. I felt like I was back in high school biology class with Mr. Perron! Some years of maturity with this particular lesson helped me to appreciate what I was learning.

Our bodies, designed by the Perfect Creator God, are so complex, and so amazing! I couldn't help but be in awe of the ability that God has given man to pinpoint such details in us. The chromosome...so small, but holds so much of what makes us who we are. As I shared before, Libi has some unique issues with her chromosomes. Number 4 chromosome is deficient, and number 11 is duplicated. Actually the part of 4 that is missing is quite minor and seems to affect more her physical make up; small hands, feet, head, her heart defect and also affects speech. It is found with a deficiency in chromosome 4 language function often lags behind cognitive ability. This makes so much sense to us. We always say that Libi "gets it".

Her chromosome 11 has duplicated part of itself and attached to chromosome 4. This makes life a bit more challenging for Libi. This is what brings about her developmental delay and seizures. It is a very unique finding. Libi has significant duplication of chromosome 11.

Medical terms:

Deletion 4q35.1
Monosomy 4q35
Terminal 4q deletion


Duplication 11q22.3
Trisomy 11q22 ter
Terminal duplication 11q22

(I understand that means nothing to most people, but wanted it out there for anyone who might search and come across Libi.)

What does it mean?

Brad and I first wanted to clarify the diagnosis mental retardation. For Libi she cannot officially carry that diagnosis, because her IQ level cannot be adequately assessed until about age 5. For now, she is diagnosed as developmentally delayed. Anyone who has an IQ below 70 is diagnosed as mentally retarded. It's such a funny term to us. I have discussed it before, but it seems to carry this stigma. I will once again quote Joel..."she doesn't seem mental."

The great thing is that we now have a definitive answer for her challenges. We know that she does not have a brain injury. That has been such a huge question mark for us since the day we brought her home. You just want to know what is wrong with your child. We have never had a real concrete diagnosis. The diagnosis’s that we have been given were incorrect. I want to encourage parents that you know your child best. You have to advocate. You have to follow the Holy Spirit's voice. I have had this nagging feeling that we were missing something with Libi. It's not that it really changes anything we are doing with her, but to us it means so much.

Our Amazing God, has revealed this marvelous mystery about Libi and we believe that He has revealed it to move us on toward healing! The doctor was very encouraging. He expressed how Libi has already made new connections and pathways in her brain to compensate. He explained to us how pliable her little brain is. She has not regressed, or hit a plateau in her development. The doctor did express that she will have delays and challenges. We will continue to press on with intervention and therapy and watch what the Lord will do in her.

As we drove home yesterday Brad shared how it struck him that this is how God formed her. The challenges she faces are not due to a brain trauma from any particular circumstance. She faces these challenges due to the exact way He molded her sweet little frame inside her mama's womb! How we praise Him...the Maker and Creator of our unique and wonderful little Libi love!!

Psalm 139
13-16 Oh yes, you shaped Libi first inside, then out;
you formed her in her mother's womb.
I thank you, High God—you're breathtaking!
Body and soul, She is marvelously made!
I worship in adoration—what a creation!
You know her inside and out,
you know every bone in her body;
You know exactly how she was made, bit by bit,
how she was sculpted from nothing into something.
Like an open book, you watched her grow from conception to birth;
all the stages of her life were spread out before you,
The days of her life all prepared
before she'd even lived one day.

The Revealer of Mysteries

"Then King Nebuchadnezzar threw himself down before Daniel and worshiped him, and he commanded his people to offer sacrifices and burn sweet incense before him. The king said to Daniel, “Truly, your God is the greatest of gods, the Lord over kings, a revealer of mysteries, for you have been able to reveal this secret.”

Daniel 2 :46-47

We have some new answers about Libi. We were expectant of our Mighty God and He never disappoints!! We received word from the geneticist today that Libi does in fact have some chromosomal issues. She has an extra part of chromosome 11 and is missing a part of chromosome 4. So what does that mean? Well, we don’t have a FULL answer to that question yet, but here is what we do know. The lack of chromosome 4 gives reason for her delays, seizures and hypotonia. It can also explain her heart defect. The extra part of chromosome 11 also gives reason for her heart defect as well as some unique physical features, such as small jaw. We have been encouraged to stay away from the internet, because information we would come across out there would not be specific to Libi. We will wait to learn more when we visit with the doctor next week. Thank you all for praying and believing with us that we would find out new information to help us on the journey to Libis' healing. We know that we cannot add or take away from chromosomes, but as one of my warrior friends said today…

God can!!

"Jesus looked at them intently and said, “Humanly speaking, it is impossible. But not with God. Everything is possible with God.”

Mark 10:27

updates on bonding and more...

Nothing more attractive to me than "my man" reading to his girls!

Officially re-adopted in the State of Illinois!!!

Finally, an update on the happenings here.

Libi's doctor visit:

The visit with the doctor itself went well. One huge relief for me was that the doctor did not think I was crazy for having Libi there. He was surprised that in 2 years genetic testing has not been considered or recommended. He has 3 syndromes he wanted to specifically rule out to start with. Being totally uneducated in the area of genetic syndromes; we do feel that Libi seems to fit the symptoms of one syndrome pretty closely. We continue to expect the Lord to guide us through this doctor to a better understanding of our sweet Libi…and ultimately to her healing!

About her healing. I was discussing through email with a dear friend, Emily, about our prayers for healing over our children. (Emily and her family adopted their precious little guy, Abe, who faces many challenges like Libi.) I expressed to her that my desires for Libi to be healed are really desires for her to walk and talk. I don’t think of complete “normalcy” for her. I think that is because we SEE her as NORMAL. We are okay with her challenges. My desire for her to walk and talk center around me. I want to be able to communicate with my daughter. I also want her to be able to walk so that she can be independent enough that we can always care for her. My friend Emily said that if God is most glorified through our kiddos just the way they are, then praise Him! We are great with that! SO expressed what Brad and I feel…

Libi Kisses…Libi seemed to like the doctor, puckering her lips up for a kiss most of the time. She is in quite a phase of “kisses” right now, and we are ALL loving it! The first kiss good-bye at school was about a month ago and I cried my eyes out when I got to the van. Do you know how amazing that was? To get a good-bye kiss from my little girl? So much was spoken in that sweet kiss to this mama’s heart. A true first “good-bye”, a true first “I love you”…how it sends my heart just revisiting that moment with her! Thank you God!!

Re-Adoption…We went through the formality of re-adopting Libi in the state of Illinois last week in order to get a birth certificate for her. We saw it as another opportunity to celebrate the gift of her. It was a little intimidating being in the court room and put on the witness stand. I had never had that experience before. Libi won the hearts of everyone in the court room, which didn’t surprise us. Brad and I laugh at the looks of empathy we will receive from people. If they only knew what a blessing a little child like Libi is they would look at her “longingly”.

Big Girl Potty and Crawling…Libi continues to make progress in both of these areas. We are so thankful for both of these abilities that the Lord has miraculously accomplished in her. Ready for big girl panties…we are SO thankful! What a miraculous work in our little girl!!

Haddie and Bonding…What’s new here? Well, a lot. Did you know when you adopt a child that the Lord can stir up a lot of garbage in your own life? The Lord has definitely used the birth of Haddie in my life to heal some hurts that carried some deep roots. Before Haddie I was very unaware of some of my “issues”. The problem with the process of this refining work was my focus shifted from this precious wounded daughter I had been given to my own wounded heart. The shift of focus was so much that I allowed my eyes to be totally on myself. (Not the first time!) Long story short: It’s not about me! Will I ever live this out as truth???? I feel that Haddie and I have made huge strides in the last week. She has felt the freedom to be “naughty” and I think that is great. Yes, I said, “great”. Not that I am enjoying it, but I see her pushing boundaries and displaying behaviors that show she is comfortable and more importantly, secure. I do see her look at me with eyes that long for more. More affection, more attention, more love. It seems that she cannot get enough. This is a hole that has been dug by many losses and hurts for her over 7 long years. Once again I think about that number, 7…it is the number of completion. It is the year of Jubilee! The year that debts are forgiven and slaves set free! This, the 7th year for our daughter will be one of completion and freedom.

SO…that’s all for now. Thanks for being on the journey with the Arnold’s! Our life is so much richer because of all of you!

Expectant

Wanted to ask all of you to join us in expectant prayer.

The Lord has moved us to make an appointment with a geneticist for Libi. Tomorrow at 4:00 we will have our first appointment.

I want to share with you a little about why we made this appointment. Ever since we brought Libi home I have felt "unsettled" about where her diagnosis stands. When she first came home it was thought that she had Cerebral Palsy. That was ruled out early on and they diagnosed her as globally delayed with hypotonia. The doctor who provided this diagnosis was not too hopeful for Libi to continue to make progress. Well, here we are almost 2 years later and she has yet to hit a plateau.

I know because we lack so much vital history with Libi it leaves a lot of questions. There has always been this nagging feeling inside me that we are still missing something with her. I have wondered about genetic testing for a while, but never knew what direction to go.

Recently we took Haddie to a team of doctors. One of the doctors was a geneticist. After we settled that Haddie was not in need of the services of a geneticist, she then turned to Libi and asked some questions. After we explained to her that we had not yet pursued genetic testing for her she encouraged us to do so. She wasn't "general" about it either. She gave me the name and phone number of a specific group that was covered by our insurance. I called and set up and appointment right away.

With the appointment set it seemed that God began to move my heart more deeply about Libi's healing. There was a message at church about a man with leprosy that Jesus healed. John 5:

12While Jesus was in one of the towns, a man came along who was covered with leprosy.[c] When he saw Jesus, he fell with his face to the ground and begged him, "Lord, if you are willing, you can make me clean."
13Jesus reached out his hand and touched the man. "I am willing," he said. "Be clean!" And immediately the leprosy left him.

14Then Jesus ordered him, "Don't tell anyone, but go, show yourself to the priest and offer the sacrifices that Moses commanded for your cleansing, as a testimony to them."

15Yet the news about him spread all the more, so that crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their sicknesses.

At the end of the message the elders were available to pray over and anoint people with oil who were in need of healing. In obedience to James 5:14 Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord.

We took Libi up to have her prayed over and anointed. Of course it was emotional, but at the same time I felt more than hopeful. That message moved me deeply.

The following Saturday we went to see the amazing movie "Extraordinary Miracles". I cannot tell you how much I loved this movie. If you have not seen it you need to. It is a true story about a family where 2 of their 3 children suffer from a genetic syndrome that is extremely debilitating and confine the children affected by it to a wheelchair. It will eventually attack the muscles to such great intensity it will result in their death around age 9. It is a story that truly captures a parents passion and heart for their disabled child. This movie was such a huge confirmation to me. At the end of the movie was a clip of child (not an actor) affected by this syndrome having the ability to take her first steps...she was the same age as Libi...Brad and I were literally sobbing! All we could think of was our little Libi Love!!

The very next morning at church was the message about the friends who took their friend, who could not walk, to Jesus and lowered him through the roof for Jesus to heal. They set him right there in front of the Great Physician and believed that He would heal him. Jesus did heal and what did the friend who was healed do? WALK! He walked!

John 5:

17One day as he was teaching, Pharisees and teachers of the law, who had come from every village of Galilee and from Judea and Jerusalem, were sitting there. And the power of the Lord was present for him to heal the sick. 18Some men came carrying a paralytic on a mat and tried to take him into the house to lay him before Jesus. 19When they could not find a way to do this because of the crowd, they went up on the roof and lowered him on his mat through the tiles into the middle of the crowd, right in front of Jesus.
20When Jesus saw their faith, he said, "Friend, your sins are forgiven."

21The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, "Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?"

22Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked, "Why are you thinking these things in your hearts? 23Which is easier: to say, 'Your sins are forgiven,' or to say, 'Get up and walk'? 24But that you may know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins...." He said to the paralyzed man, "I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home." 25 Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. 26 Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, "We have seen remarkable things today."

So here we are, feeling that this is the next step. That the Revealer of all mysteries is about to lift the curtain on a big one. Will you join us in expectant prayer? Will you help us carry our girl on her mat and lay her at the feet of Jesus?

Thank you, friends...you bless us!