Thursday, June 24, 2010

I know, I know...it's been awhile

So why so long since the last post? Well, the short answer to that question would be 5 kids. Is life crazy busy? Yes, it is, but it is good and abundantly blessed! Each day I cannot quite take in the changes that are happening in the Arnold house. I see broken hearts mending, love growing, strength granted, healing given, joy discovered, peace found...God is at work and I cannot help but be overwhelmed at what I see.

Jacob just continues to grow into such a mature young man. Sometimes I look at him in awe. I only wish I could have had half the wisdom and discernment at his age. It was the gift of Him that God used in my life to "grow me up". Soon he will be driving and I will be crying. I just want him out on the sidewalk in his big wheel...can you picture that? He will be taking his first overseas mission trip in July. He will be traveling to the Dominican Republic. That is sure to be a mile marker in his relationship with His Savior!

Big changes have taken place in Joel and Jack since we made the decision to bring them home for their education. I feel so blessed to be able to sit down with my 13 and 12 year old boys and read with them. I feel like I really "know" them. I am waiting with great anticipation for our next year to begin in a week. Yes, I did say in a week. We will be jumping in and hitting the books again. (Shhh, not a word to the boys, it's a surprise! LOL!) Lately, Scrabble has become there passion. They do come up with some interesting words! Those boys really make me laugh!

Miss Haddie...No one on this earth is as happy as this girl. Really, she is just plain happy. We made her a little emotion chart so she could better identify her feelings. Not one time has she ever pointed to any face but the "very happy" face. How I love her! Sometimes she is a little too much sanguine for me to handle or it may be the choleric that drives me more crazy. I can't figure out if it is the zest for life, or her passion for telling me how to do everything. :) Seriously, she brings great joy and laughter to my days.

I would like to speak to the bonding/attaching process. I continue to go back to 1 John 3:18 "Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. 19This then is how we know that we belong to the truth, and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence 20whenever our hearts condemn us. For God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything." I am so thankful that God has proven to be greater than my heart over these last 6 months. Never in my life have I thought more about what love really is. God defines it in His Word as PATIENT, KIND, not JEALOUS, BOASTFUL, PROUD, or RUDE, it does not demand its own way, is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged, it does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance. (1Corinthians 13) Do you see anything in there about "feelings" or "emotions"? It isn't there, because that's not what love is. Love is a choice. Love is work. Love is God pouring Himself through us to someone else. Real love is not something we can give apart from God. I pray that this love is what my little Haddie Hope know as reality in her life.

Haddie continues to battle with displaced attachment and indiscriminate friendliness. She craves love, affection, and attention. Her needs are so understandable, but how those needs get met requires intentional direction. It's funny how when she is in a crowd of people she is like a kid in a candy store. She is just looking to win someones affection or attention. She could get some random hugs and "I love yous" and fill up her needs without looking to her daddy and I to meet them. When she fills up elsewhere it is evident in her limp hugs, non puckered lips, and just plain distance. It is harder for her to vulnerable with myself or with Brad. It requires her to love and trust on a deeper level. She has come so far, but we still have a way to go. I can tell you that the spontaneous "I love yous" and random hugs and kisses are coming more often, and each one is a treasure.

Ari...yep, Ari. Been a while since that name has been on the blog. Ari was our foster daughter who lived with us for 18 months. The last time we heard from Ari was June 21st, 2008!! Two long years ago. She just celebrated her 5th birthday...somewhere. Geoffry the Giraffe called to sing happy birthday to her, but she wasn't here. A birthday card arrived in the mail for her, but she wasn't here. We had a Dora cake, but she wasn't here. Do I wish she was here? Oh YES, how I wish she was here! I wish she could know her sisters, and that they could know her. I wish that our arms would stop aching for her. I dream about her often, and she is always elementary school age with long straight black hair. I hold fast to my belief that she will one day be back. She will always be our daughter and we pray that she and her mama had a wonderful day celebrating her 5th year. Ariadna Joy, we love you! God thank you for her, for the memories and the hope that one day we will see her again.
Libi love has been seizure free for almost 3 weeks! We are rejoicing over that, and hope that the Lord brings her healing. She celebrated her 4th birthday since my last post. She had a music/dance party with her little friends. She had 17 little girl friends at the house, and only one of them was a biological child! It was the most beautiful room of girls you have ever seen. Each little life, so precious, so purposed. Then, there sat Libi amongst them. What a miracle! As she sat up, smiling, clapping...doing things that many never thought possible. God is healer! We continue to wait on Him to bring about her ability to walk...it is on the horizon.

We will be putting our house on the market in a few days. We have found a home that was custom built handicap accessible. It would be so wonderful for Libi to have the ability to experience her world more "upright". I cannot begin to imagine the amount of hours she spends on her back or tummy in our house. Also, she is growing, and it is getting more difficult for me to care for her, getting her up and down stairs, in and out of the tub...So we wait to see what God has, trusting fully that He determines the exact places that you will live.

I will not make any promises about when the next post will come....hope it will be sooner than this.












Early morning game of Scrabble


Happy Birthday Ari!





I love my sister!










Happy Birthday Jack!!!








My "messy" girls having some breakfast





Happy Birthday Libi!








Haddie wanted a Bible of her own so bad. I told her a couple of weeks before Easter that she would get one for her first Easter. The night before Easter I was trying to explain why we celebrate Easter and what Jesus did for us. She looked me with great excitement and said, "Mama, Bible?" It was so sweet! She was so excited to get her Bible. She loves to hear stories from God's Word. I cannot wait until she can read it all for herself!



4 comments:

  1. Amy I love this update! You're moving?!! Where is this new house? We need to talk. Thankful with you that God brought a home to meet your needs beautifully! Miss you! :)

    Jami

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  2. Amy, thanks for the update on your beautiful family. You guys are always up to something new and exciting. Your section about Ari made me cry as I now know what it's like to have empty arms that ache for someone that you love so dearly. What a comfort to know that God loves our littles ones even more than we do... hard to imagine!

    Love you!

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  3. It is wonderful to see Joel and Jack doing so well! God is blessing your sacrifices and efforts... hope your new school year is off to a great start!

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  4. Just thinking about you all and enjoyed reading your blog. Just thinking about Libi and hoping and praying she is doing well. Glad not to see you in the ED for awhile :)

    Love,

    Amber

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