The HOPE of Haddie

For the last few weeks I have been reading a book that has been hard to read. This book forces me to face the harsh realities of a Chinese orphanage. It tells, what is likely, the story of many orphaned children. It is a story that is dark, bleak and void of HOPE. Silent Tears by Kay Bratt is taking me on a journey that is uncomfortable. I don't enjoy thinking about the first seven years of my daughters life. Those years hold a lot of question marks for us. I fear,as I read this book, it answers some of those questions; answers that no mother wants to hear.

In a Chinese orphanage, children with disabilities can encounter great rejection. Cleft babies especially have difficulties. Not only will a cleft baby not receive the same attention as the healthy babies, but the chance to receive proper nourishment is next to impossible. As bottles are transferred from crib to crib, a cleft baby receives the same amount of time to feed on the bottle as a healthy baby does. With a bottle propped in their mouth and the lack of ability to suck, they may not even receive a drop of milk. The reality is that many die due to the lack of nourishment.

What would save that cleft baby's life? A surgery? Yes...but even simpler, someone to hold them, squeeze the milk into their mouth, and patiently feed them enough. Or simply, specially made bottles to aid a cleft baby in feeding. Unfortunately, resources are limited in most Chinese orphanages. Resources of both funds and arms.

Was my daughter in one of those? What were those days like for her?
"To be born with a facial deformity in China means that the child will never have the love of a family or be accepted by society. These girls may never have a chance to fulfill some of their dreams." - Kay Bratt, Silent Tears

Haddie HOPE...yes, God gave her what she needed, when she needed it. He sustained her, physically and emotionally. She may have encountered dark and bleak days, but there was always HOPE, because there was always God.

Are you the hope for a child? Are you the one to fund, hold, feed?
I am so thankful that for 7 years God raised others up to provide for the needs of my daughter, to give her a future and a HOPE!

This HOPE that she had is what motivated her to bound up to a worker from our adoption agency and eagerly ask her if she could find her a fa

mily...we all know that a family had already been found!

GOTCHA day fun...

As we celebrated the one year anniversary today of Haddie's GOTCHA day, (see post below) I took Haddie to adopt a baby of her own. We have a darling place here that does baby adoptions and it exceeded my expectations! We had a wonderful day celebrating adoption. Haddie thoroughly enjoyed every moment, and honestly, so did I. I am hoping to get my doll for Christmas...really...this little Asian baby stole my heart. That shouldn't surprise anyone. Enjoy the pics!

Look at all these sweet babies who need a mommy!
Could our smiles be any bigger?

Haddie's choice...the absolute happiest baby in the nursery!

Mommies choice! Love that baby! Who can blame me?

Haddie likes hers better and I think she made the perfect choice for her!

New mommy!

Sweet friends!

It was Chloe's 10th birthday! She and Haddie share special days!

Happy Birthday Chloe!

She really wanted a baby that took a pacifier.

Happy mama! Happy baby!

Signing her name, stating that she would love and care for her baby.

Look at what a natural she is! Allie Hope Arnold

Learning about "tummy time"

New mama!
Congratulations, Haddie! She's beautiful just like you!

Allie's first outing to McDonald's...just like her mama on her adoption day!

one year ago...GOTCHA!

Dear Haddie Hope Jia,

One year ago today God delivered a great gift to my life, and that was you. It was a very cold day in Zhengzhou, Henan, P.R. China. I remember climbing the stairs to the Civil Affairs office where you were waiting to meet your new family. I was scared and excited all at the same time. I wondered what you would think of us. As soon as I walked though the door I saw you. You seemed happy, but a little shy at first. You were holding the book of family pictures I had made for you. You began pointing out each of us in your book and saying our names. Libi seemed to be the one you were most excited about. I was the one you were least excited about. Isn't it funny to think about that day? We didn't know each other yet.

We took you to lunch at McDonald's. You were very excited about that. When you saw the picture menu you wanted everything! And you know what?... you had about everything! You ate a lot and seemed to like it all. I wasn't sure though, because we didn't know each other yet.

After lunch we took you back to the hotel room and played with some balloons and stuff. You had just said goodbye to everything that you had ever known and now everything was new and strange. I wondered if you were scared inside. I wasn't sure if you would want to change out of the clothes you came in, because we didn't know each other yet,

BUT... when you saw the beautiful red princess nightgown I had brought for you to wear you were excited. As I began to take your clothes off we were laughing because you had a lot of clothes on! It was so cold that you had a lot of layers of clothing to keep you warm. In fact, you had 4 layers of clothes! We just kept peeling them off one by one and laughing. I was watching your face to see if you were getting scared or frustrated, because we didn't know each other yet.

After your bath, when you were all ready, you were so happy. You felt so pretty, and we kept telling you over and over in Chinese. (piao liang) You hugged everyone goodnight and we went to bed. You and I shared a bed and you looked into my eyes until you went to sleep. It seemed like maybe you were a little scared, but I wasn't sure; we didn't know each other yet.

Our time in China was crazy. We came home and it was still crazy. I was so happy to have you home for Christmas, but we didn't know each other yet.

So, sweet girl, here we are one year later and I am crazy about you! You are a joy, a true delight! You are so smart...you have learned so much this year. You have learned to understand, speak, read, and write English! You are such a beautiful girl, and you were created to be my daughter. You know how I know?

Because... NOW I KNOW YOU!

I love you!
Happy One Year Home!
Mommy

Next update...Haddie Hope

Home 10 months...and she is ALL that!

When I express to you that she is "all that" I mean the "all that" which comes with a bag of chips. From the looks she gives to the swagger of her walk, this girl can exude some serious confidence. For that, I am thankful. Knowing it is God who has given her inner strength to persevere and survive the last seven years of her life. I don't believe that the last seven years were horrible years, but significant pieces were missing that would leave a void for any child.

Gracious
Upon receiving her very first bag of Halloween goodies.
Her response was, "I don't like chocolate." The giver responded, "I'm sorry Haddie, if I would have known that I would have given you some different treats." Haddie says, "That's okay, thank you". Later we discussed a gracious response would have been a simple "thank you". Yet, she then came home and took her chocolate goodies and separated them into piles for her brothers.
Thoughtful
Haddie is a very thoughtful little girl. Looking for ways she can help with such an eager spirit. I have to remind myself when she is always underfoot that she simply wants to help. She is often asking me, "Can I help you?"
Hard Working
Think about where Haddie was 10 months ago. She transitioned to a completely different culture with a totally new language into a strange family, who looks strange, acts strange, smell strange...you get the picture. I forget what a short time 10 months is because she has adapted so well. She understands most everything that is communicated. The vocabulary that she uses is really amazing. Some expressions you will catch her saying:
"What the world?" (What in the world)
"Seriously."
"Are you kidding?"

"I so exciting" (I am so excited)

Her desire to learn is seen in how she watches people, and her desire to do her school work. Lately, she has expressed a strong desire to do things independently. She took her 2nd spelling test today on sight words and got them all right:

(tag was a bonus word and the "p" on play was a correction of her form)
She has begun reading, which has been so amazing for me as a mom. I have never had the privilege to teach any of my children to read. Seeing that light bulb go off and the sounds connect as they begin to read their first sentences and books makes me wonder if I am more excited about it than Haddie.

click here to view Haddie reading

Joyful

Haddie's smile lights up the world. I don't know that I will ever meet a happier girl. Dancing and singing through grocery store aisle without a care in the world. Sometimes I have to stop and laugh, and she will say to me, "I so exciting." I believe joy like that only comes from God.

Difficult

Haddie is not difficult, but there are days and moments that are. Learning can be difficult sometimes. Haddie can hit a wall and shut down if she doesn't know an answer. She can lock up for minutes or sometimes she is frozen for the entire day. Those times can be hard. We are learning to push through them together. I want her to know I am for her, and not against her, and I will stay with her until she gets it. Like yesterday when it took 20 minutes before she could remember when you add zero to a number the number stays the same. Today we have laughed about 18 + 0 = 18 many times, but yesterday when she and I both were almost in tears it was not funny.

But making it...

10 months! Life around here is not easy. Most days bring something that makes me run to my Savior and hold on for dear life, and that's okay because the One that I hold on to is Faithful and Strong.

Psalm 145
9 The LORD is good to all;
he has compassion on all he has made.
10 All your works praise you, LORD;
your faithful people extol you.
11 They tell of the glory of your kingdom
and speak of your might,
12 so that all people may know of your mighty acts
and the glorious splendor of your kingdom.
13 Your kingdom is an everlasting kingdom,
and your dominion endures through all generations.

The LORD is trustworthy in all he promises
and faithful in all he does.
14 The LORD upholds all who fall
and lifts up all who are bowed down.
15 The eyes of all look to you,
and you give them their food at the proper time.
16 You open your hand
and satisfy the desires of every living thing.

17 The LORD is righteous in all his ways
and faithful in all he does.
18 The LORD is near to all who call on him,
to all who call on him in truth.
19 He fulfills the desires of those who fear him;
he hears their cry and saves them.

Believe in the Healer

Matthew 4:24
24News about him spread all over Syria, and people brought to him all who were ill with various diseases, those suffering severe pain, the demon-possessed, those having seizures, and the paralyzed, and he healed them.

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As you may know, Libi has battled with seizures since she was 17 months old. Unfortunately that battle has only intensified over the last 2 years. By the end of May this year Libi was barely getting through a week without having a seizure. Her last couple of seizures were Grand Mal. No words can describe what it feels like to watch your child seize. It is the most helpless and scary feeling. No other time in life has me crying out to my Great God like I do in those moments.

June 5th, 18 weeks ago, was the last time Libi Love had a seizure! All GLORY to OUR GREAT GOD!

We have full confidence that Libi has been released from this hold of epilepsy. After Libi's last seizure I began to look at each scripture in the Word that spoke of healing. I was inspired to do a study on healing by the staff of New Day, Libi's foster home in China. They had done a similar study on healing and saw the Lord begin to do amazing acts of healing in their foster home. As God began to speak to me through His Word I saw and heard the God who HEALS...not the God who HEALED...but the God who HEALS! Before I began this study I read about God's amazing acts of healing and knew He worked this way in those times for His great glory, but I lacked the full belief that He still does today.

An overwhelming theme throughout these passages on healing is FAITH. FAITH, BELIEF, that God is who He says and that He can do anything! It struck me once again about Libi's middle name, Faith. She truly has been the biggest walk of FAITH I have ever been on yet I saw how much faith I lack. I realize my faith will not be complete until I am with Jesus, but I long for it to grow. I want to believe to the very depths of my soul in His healing power for Libi Faith.

Faith was not the only element that God revealed to me as I studied healing. Because God desires relationship with us, He wants us to communicate our heart to Him. God has given me a sweet example of this in our little Haddie. Haddie will long for something, be it food, or to join an activity, but she struggles to express that desire. As her mother, I long to see her secure enough in our relationship that she will express what she wants even if she anticipates me saying no to her request. Many times I will tell Haddie, "Just ask me..." I desire for her to ask because it deepens our relationship, builds trust, and proves she sees me as the one who can satisfy her longings. Our sweet Savior wants to be that One and Only that satisfies our longings and needs. He will not always answer in the way we desire, but He will answer with the full knowledge of what is best.


I will continue to ask the Lord to heal Libi and allow her the abitlity to walk. I pray that He will cause my heart's desire to be only for His glory in her healing. May He increase my faith in the process of expressing this desire.

So here I sit...amazed at this act of healing in Libi. I recall an appointment in June after her last seizure. Her neurologist felt that we would not be able to control her seizures with medication. Well, medication or not, we know who has control, and He I will praise Him not for control, but for HEALING!

. Matthew 17
14When they came to the crowd, a man approached Jesus and knelt before him. 15"Lord, have mercy on my son," he said. "He has seizures and is suffering greatly. He often falls into the fire or into the water. 16I brought him to your disciples, but they could not heal him."
17"O unbelieving and perverse generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy here to me." 18Jesus rebuked the demon, and it came out of the boy, and he was healed from that moment.

19Then the disciples came to Jesus in private and asked, "Why couldn't we drive it out?"

20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Confessions of a bad blogger

Finding the time to blog is hard. Many times I have thoughts that I would love to share or updates on the family, but I simply struggle to find time. I often remind myself of the Creator of 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. When I walk in step with the One who has created and ordered all time I can accomplish every task purposed for me. I am not about to say that I do this well, but sometimes, in order to breathe, I need to remind myself that what He requires from me in a given day can be done. If I find that I am overwhelmed and just can't get everything done then usually it is due to the fact that I have taken on more than He has asked of me, or walking in my own strength.

"Splendor and majesty are before Him;

Strength and joy in His dwelling place."

1 Chronicles 16:27

My goal is to "catch up" on our blog. To try to catch up in one post would, in fact, be overwhelming and boring...so I will strive to bring snippets of what our Mighty God has been up to in our lives. My purpose is to testify of God's work in our family with hope that He will be seen above all and hearts find encouragement to love Him more.

Stay tuned for the next post of the greatest work of our Mighty God in the last 4 months!!!!!

Libi's Birthday pacakage arrives at her China home!

We received a wonderful gift this week. I mentioned in my last post that Libi celebrated her 4th birthday. Instead of gifts for Libi, her friends brought gifts to send to New Day. New Day was Libi's foster home in China. They do amazing things for the orphan. They have saved many lives, including Libi's. God used New Day to supply for Libi's need for her heart surgery. We will forever be thankful for New Day!! Take a journey to their blog and pray for them. http://newdayfosterhome.blogspot.com/ You will be so blessed!!